2019 round 7 Lindholme Beeches Ferrets Trophy match June 8th

[Leo Martin]

2019 summer league round 7 June 8th and Martin Ferriby memorial trophy match Lindholme Beeches

I'm starting this match report differently to normal for a change. To some of our newer members of the Bash and forum you may wonder who this match was named after. Ferret was one of the original founder Big Bash members and highly respected member of the angling community in and around Scunthorpe. His dry humour was renowned, jokes, one liners and ability to tell a story full of wise cracks whilst holding a straight face. Anyone who wants to brighten their day I would suggest running a search on Ferrets posts on the forum and enjoy the jokes. There are quite a few of his better ones where he takes the micky out of us and our good friends at James Maude AC. Below are a few items to wet your appetite. 

XXX

Two cannibals were eating a clown. One says to the other, 'Does your's taste funny?'
A cannibal went on holiday and came back with his foot missing. He'd gone self catering

XXX

My mate went on a blind date with right raver. He'd got her in his van round the back of the pub. He came in about half ten looking decidedly worse for wear, his hair was in a fringe and he was puffing and panting. He said to the landlord, 'quick, give me a brandy, I've got a right one out there! She's insatiable. We must have done it six times already and she's still wanting more. I've told her I'm jusy nipping in for a pee so I haven't got long.'
I said, 'You mossy sod'. He said, 'you wouldn't think so if you was out there, I'm absolutely cream crackered. In fact,' he said, 'She wouldn't notice who got in that van with her, she'd probably not be bothered anyway. Tell you what, you stick another brandy in that glass and you can go get in the van with her'.
So I bought him a brandy and off I went. As soon as I was in the van she was on me like a panther. We'd only just got going though when there was a knock on the window and a copper shone his torch in on us. ' Er, evening constable', I said, 'It's alright I'm just giving the wife one before we go home'.
'I'm sorry', he said, 'I didn't realise it was your wife sir'.
I said'No, neither did I till you shone your torch!'

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Reminds me of when I was playing 'Little John Thomas' in the Ashby Sunshine Hall annual panto a few years back. My costume was just a pair of green tights and one of our lasses white blouses. I only had a small part.
One of the Merry Men told me the others all stuffed a rolled up sock down their tights to fend off any potential for ridicule. I did the same but they were all still pointing and laughing throughout the show. It was only afterwards they told me they meant down the front of my tights!

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Not a lot of people know this but I once was employed as a script writer for Marcel Marceaux. I've also offered my services to E.L.James with the sequel to Fifty Shades Of Grey. I think it needed a few more gags.
Currently though I'm working on an Irish remake of 'King Kong'. It's called 'Big 'Orror'.
Then I'm doing a spot for the local Haemorrhoids Society. Mainly stand up that one.
Last Saturday I did a spot for the North Lincolnshire Premature Ejaculation Group. I was on my own all evening. They'd all come on the Friday.
I'd become involved with lot after suffering 'problems' myself for a while. I'm alright now but it was touch and go for a time!

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The best game of cards I ever had was when I played strip snap with two gorgeous twins who both stuttered.
Not the only time I've had twins though. I'd been going out with a lass for months once before she confided that she was a twin. She wondered if I'd like to sleep with her and her twin at the same time. 'Course I jumped at the chance. Turned out he was quite a nice bloke as well!
XXX

The "fishing".

Beeches was Ferrets favourite lake at Lindholme, its natural setting with lovely established trees and the various fishing styles it offers the match angler. It was also the lake Ferret won his last match with us on.
We had the full lake so plenty of room for everyone, andwe  also managed to drive around the lake which was a big bonus considering the change in weather.

Many thanks to John Balmforth and Glen for assisting with the pre match admin. Everyone paid on in a timely fashion and the intrepid "overnighters" arrived bright eyed and bushy tailed (or was that just Jack) so win win.  16 Bashers and 2 new guests joined us for our match. We had suffered a change in weather leading up to the Saturday and rain was forecast and I can say they didn't get it wrong for a change.

A respectful minutes applause prior to the all in whistle as always, thank you everyone.

Peg 12 was my office with John Balmforth my closest neighbour on 14 and a full bay in front to go at. Bomb, pellet waggler, pole lines in front working out from 2+2 and margins to each side. It was a long day with no indications till about 11:30 ish. The rain arrived well before that and although there was one or two lulls it did a good job of soaking everything. I fished below my brolly for a change and then realised why I normally don't use a brolly when trying to cast a rod and avoid tree lines each side. Long gaps between bites, several lost fish, and wondering why the bay was not tightly pegged was answered on the weigh in.

Jasper was first into a fish literally 30 seconds after his first cast, Max had a consistent run of fish through the match. Several others caught but some really struggled making it not one of our better days on this lake.

Weighing in Steve Curtis ably assisted by John Balmforth proceeded around the rain soaked anglers, thanks guys. I caught them up and on assisting returning fish managed to exceed myself sliding down on my rump  but saving grace was I didn't end up in the lake, phew me says. 

Match winner on peg 7 Steelcowboy 84-7 and Ferrets trophy win.
Section winners Jasper peg 20     78-8
Andy w8 peg 19     48-13
Indian peg 27     35-1
John Lanelly peg 42     62-23.
Second in sections
Steve Curtis ( I've only got 4 carp) peg 5     55-6
Mick Roche peg 17     43-12
Glen peg 22     32-3
Stuart May peg 32      54-4

Well done everyone for sticking it out in the rain and thank you to all helpers once again, you are what make this club the brilliant one it is

[Leo Martin]

Results
Peg 1 Steve Guy DNW  4 points
Peg 3 Keith Smith 52-8 4 points
Peg 5 Steve Curtis 55-4 3 points
Peg 6 Jasper 78-8 2 points
Peg 7 Max steelcowboy Bates 84-7 1 point
Peg 9 Tony Raynor 30-3 4 points
Peg 12 Leo Martin 26-8 4 points
Peg 14 John Balmforth 42-1 3 points
Peg 17 Mick Roche 43-12 2 points
Peg 19 Andy waite 48-13 1 point
Peg 22 Glen 32-3 2 points
Peg 24 Stephen Akal 31-6 3 points
Peg 27 Indian 35 1 point
Peg 29 Mike Dodd 8-9   4 points
Peg 32 Stuart May 54-4 2 points
Peg 35 Jack Crabtree 40-12 4 points
Peg 27 Smiler 47-10 3 points
Peg 42 John Lanelly 62-13 1 point

[Leo Martin]

How did your match plan out lads? Tactics, baits, methods?

[steelcowboy]

Peg 7 so no parking behind peg  :-\ but happy with draw . Getting tackle out of car and quickly realised I had no rods !!! Quick phone call home got the wifey to get check and sure enough my rods was still sat in the garage where I had left them Friday night after spending a few hours re-spoiling and setting up for Beeches 😏

Big thanks for Jasper for lending me one of his spare tip rods .

Started on the bomb with 6mm banded pellet firing out 2 full pouches of 6mms very 5minutes had 4 decent carp in 1st couple of hours while feeding 13mt line and top 2+3 line both with 6mm pellets putting in a full cup every 20 minutes .

Due to the wind and the wet stuff never went out to 13mt just stayed on the short line , had to wait for bites but they was a good stamp when they came along , managed to land a couple of foul hookers as well . Everything was caught on a 6mm hard pellet did try both margins at 3pm but wasted 30 minutes here for zero but at least it rested my short line which I managed a couple more in the last 30 minutes before the whistle .

I was lucky enough to win this trophy a couple of years back and even luckier this year , if I was able to choose to win only one match a year this Match comes out way in front of any other match in the Big Bash calendar .

I guess I am one of only a handful left in the Bash who had the privilege to know and Fish with Ferret so this means so much more than just winning a Fishing a match... RIP Martin and when ever I fish Beeches you always come to mind 👍

Thanks again to Jasper You didn't need to but very  muchly appreciated

[weldec]

Well done Max on your win, I was and feel honoured to have spent many a funny session with one of the most incredible human beings I have had the privilege to meet. Loved this man for everything he stood for. R.I.P Martin.

[jasper31]

[kiwi]

Billy once remember Ferret coming in one night for coffee they had put him back in uniform  my wife ask him where he had got it from it was covered in dust   Ferret replied it been in the loft for ten year he didn't give a monkey what the bosses thought  at my daughters he was up on stage giving out the jokes a night to remember :police: :angel:

[weldec]

Billy once remember Ferret coming in one night for coffee they had put him back in uniform  my wife ask him where he had got it from it was covered in dust   Ferret replied it been in the loft for ten year he didn't give a monkey what the bosses thought  at my daughters he was up on stage giving out the jokes a night to remember :police: :angel:

Fantastic memories Roy,  He left us with that legacy of humour.  R.I.P. Martin.